Things I am thankful for today:

- dance. I hadn’t realized how much I missed dancing and how happy it makes me until I went again last night. I love feeling connected to the person you’re dancing with, to be in a dancer’s embrace. I love letting go and just letting the music enter my pores and run through my blood. I love feeling bigger and bolder and more beautiful than my usual everyday self. I love everything about it, even the not-feeling-good-enough, the fear of never being good enough, the physical pain and the emotional challenge of putting myself out there. I realized that despite my ‘fear’ of dance, it is something worth putting my energy into.

- money. I am so thankful to have a paid job, to have money in my bank account and to have the expectation that more money would come in.

- comfy shoes. I wanted to cry after a few shifts working in my new heels from work, so I went to Novo Shoes today and bought myself a nice pair of black heels with a sneaky high platform… looking forward to work again now that my feetsies aren’t going to be suffering as much :) and hopefully the pain will reduce enough for me to dance more again!

- my parents. We don’t get along all the time, but I’m glad they’re around and that our relationship is now a lot lot better than it used to be.

- rest. After a hard week I’m so happy to have 3 days off just to nap and lounge about the house… working hard during the rest of the week makes me appreciate these days more!

- and did I mention that I had a very peaceful dream last night where I saw an old friend and we chilled out together? It was… nice. Everything changes - people change, friendships change, but memories are always precious :)

Heya guys,

It’s been a hard slog this week - I’ve been losing my usual enthusiasm, and (whether it’s due to PMS or not) completely lost it and bawled my eyes out for a few hours on Thursday night. I don’t even know WHAT was the matter, I only knew that everything felt wrong and difficult and I just didn’t want to get through it. 

The next day I woke up all puffy eyed and had to do my usual cold-spoon trick, and even though that morning was hard also I perked up a bit throughout the rest of the day. I reminded myself that life isn’t supposed to be hard, it just feels like that sometimes because we let ourselves get overwhelmed by things that are either in the past or in the future, rather than the now. The trick is to focus on what’s in front of me and let myself fill up with gratitude and hope, because I am in control - if things are not going splendidly, I can change that with my thoughts and attitude :)

Some nice things that happened last night:

  • had woodfired pizzas, punch and nibbles at a friend’s house, where she had the most beautiful garden with an outdoor heater
  • we also toasted marshmallows over the fire and I had my first smore! It was the most incredible, delicious thing and I can’t believe I never had it in my childhood
  • played Rapidough (like Pictionary but with playdough) WHICH IS THE BEST GAME EVER
  • also got some group costume ideas for the upcoming zouk halloween party :)

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You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.
If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.
Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.
Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.

Julien Smith, The Flinch (via larmoyante)

Hello my beautiful friends,

I regret to say that today has not been a very good day. It is difficult for me to say that despite my best of intentions, positive energy and willingness to learn, my performance at work has still fallen short of expectations.

Nevertheless I’ve decided not to let that get me down :) before leaving work I gave my manager a genuine, warm thank you to let her know that I appreciate her constructive criticism, and have vowed to myself that if the same difficult customer returns I’ll serve her again with the kindest of words and a great attitude…. no matter what hers is like!

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Hey guys!

  • so I made a reservation for myself at Hot Yoga Newmarket for next week. I decided I’d try it once and for all. WISH ME LUCK.
  • having a super great day off at home today :) my usual peanut butter, honey, cranberry and almond oats for breakfast and eggs, hash browns and peas and corn for lunch, hurray
  • also relaxing with a coconut oil hair mask for most of today
  • work update: our brand is having a major image overall now that we have a new young designer, so say hello to more sexy, funky and modern pieces!
  • sooo looking forward to getting paid next week. I can’t wait to pay all my debts back, start afresh, and be able to spoil myself with new clothes and shoes <3

Hey guys,

  • my new obsession is spicy Korean fried chicken. That stuff is amazing, how do they make it so addictive?!?!
  • haven’t had good sales at work, but we’re getting in lots of lovely new stock for summer so maybe I can spend some of my staff vouchers on something nice :3
  • finally treated myself and had a Thai massage last week - also bought a super cute outfit from Wild Pair that I can’t wait to wear out to dinner with friends over the weekend :) now for a pair of suede high-heeled Chelsea boots…
  • been feeling kinda spiritually blah recently so I might pick up vinyasa flow or ashtanga yoga. And now that I work in Newmarket it’s an easy walk or bus to a yoga studio in town after work!
  • I’m feeling way better this week compared to last week, so my main goal is to keep my frequency high and positive and attract more great things into my life :)